Buckets, Rags, Mops, Toothbrushes, Butts

We weren't always locked out of the house, obviously, or someone would've called CPS. We watched a lot of TV: whatever Monga was watching: "Murder She Wrote", "$1,000 Pyramid", "Little House on the Prairie". If we begged, we got to see "Fraggle Rock" or "Double Dare" on Nickelodeon. Other things we did to occupy our time were: 1)steal Snickers bars from Cecil's top drawer in his bedroom, 2)put on Monga's thick glasses and try to walk around, 3)climb up the walls in the hallway (literally-- one foot and hand on each wall and crabwalk up to the ceiling), 4)get into Monga's purse and count her dollar bills-- all those 20's and 50's. This particular activity usually led us into wanting money of our own. So, we'd find Monga and ask her what we could do to earn some money.

In the summer, we got out buckets, rags, and soap and washed Monga's car out on the front lawn. She'd usually rap on the window and point, asking us to also water the flowers and shrubs. If we had to stay indoors, we got assigned the task of scouring either the kitchen or bathroom. We usually chose the bathroom; it's smaller.

We'd gather the buckets, rags, and mop and lug it all into the bathroom, trying to sneak the mop past Monga--holding it lengthwise behind us. But, she'd always spy it.

"You kids aren't using a mop."

She'd jump up and head ambassador-like into the kitchen. Opening the cabinet under the sink, she'd bend over and start taking out bottles of cleaners until she found the ammonia. Frustrated with us, she'd quickly replace the bottles in the cabinet and slam its door.

"You know better than that!" she'd say as she dropped the bottle of ammonia into a bucket I was holding. Then, we'd follow her into the bathroom.

One particular time, we all stood in the hallway in awkward silence, holding the cleaning supplies.

"I couldn't find the toothbrush I usually use," Monga said.

I looked at Andreya.

"Here. Use Cecil's." She handed me his toothbrush and left the bathroom.

"Hot water and ammonia. Get on your hands and knees and scrub. Get all the cracks. I don't know what his problem is. He lives like a pig."

Andreya cracked open the bathroom window as I poured the potent cleaner into the bucket and used the bathtub faucet to fill it with water. The fumes went directly into my nose and made my eyes water.

Decades later, during one of Aunt Vickie's visits...Mom and Vicki searched for something to use to clean up a mess. Monga stood there confused.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"We're trying to clean up this mess, mom. There's sugar all over the floor," Vickie replied.

"Sugar?" she asked, as if it were a cuss word in a foreign language.

"Yes, mom. Where's your towels?" asked Kathy.

They expected to hear Monga's usual reply: The same place they've always been.

Instead, she shook her head as if asking for a towel was asking for something disgusting, unfathomable and said,

"Just wipe it up with your butt."

Vickie and mom stood in the kitchen laughing. Monga joined in, sensing she'd missed a joke.